From the monthly archives:

February 2010

My daughter decided to enlist in the Air Force and I’m very proud of her! I think it’ll be good for her growth as a person and help build character and resilience – although she’s a pretty spunky young lady as it is!

I learned a lot from my seven years in the Air Force, especially basic training! I remember pulling in to Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio, Texas at 2am. Some big, loud guy jumped up through the door of the bus and yelled, “Alright, ladies!” (even though 90% of my companions were male) “Up and out! Line up!” Then he shouted, “Up against the wall!” (In that first phone call back home I told my Mom I was scared silly; I wasn’t sure what was coming next!)

But I have fond memories and realize now how much I learned about life and leadership during those eight grueling weeks. (I can hear my Marine and Army friends snickering at me right now…”Grueling, Laura? You can’t even GUESS what grueling feels like!”)

Ahem! Okay, so as I was saying…here’s what I learned:

You “earned your clothes”. New uniforms were added to our “wardrobe” as we progressed through each week of training. Wearing them hinged on achieving certain milestones and we didn’t get to wear our dress blues until the end. Wearing the next set of clothes was a privilege you earned. (And just in case you’re wondering, we did not start out naked!) Lesson learned: what’s worth having is worth working for. You have to prove you’re worthy, qualified and ready for the responsibility. It might be hard to wait for the “goodies”, but you need to know how to handle it so you don’t cause yourself (or others) harm if things come too fast and easy.

Peer pressure was a powerful tool. If one lady wanted to put her sweater on, she knew we’d ALL have to put our sweaters on. So we learned to make decisions and requests keeping the needs of the entire team in mind. Lesson learned: It’s never just about you; your actions end up impacting others. Even if you think this one decision is a small one and you make it behind closed doors in the dark of night, it’s possible the ripple effect will be felt elsewhere. Sometimes having a strong support structure (family, faith, community) helps us tow the line through our weaker moments.

The team had to move as one. Marching 101 required you pay attention to the person beside you, in front of and behind you. You took your cues from each other with one goal – to move as one. If you got out of step, you’d “skip” to match pace. If your stride started bouncing, you’d have to regain control and settle back down. Typically a whisper from the person behind you, “you’re bouncing” would snap you back into form. Lesson learned: Teams, boards, councils and parents should speak with “one voice” and act as one. We may not agree with the direction the group wants to take, but at some point you have to choose whether being part of the group and supporting them is more important. Sometimes it’s not. Sometimes you are the lone voice in the wilderness, fighting against groupthink. You’ll know when it’s worth it to push back based on what’s at risk if you don’t.

We were all in it together. At first, there were the few who were totally unprepared for the shock of basic training. Their recruiters hadn’t been straight with them and they whimpered at night under the covers. But gradually the group started to bond. We helped one another through tough times and watched for ways to ease the burden for some who struggled. Lesson learned: Helping others distracts folks from their own worries. In the book, The Survivors Club: The Secrets and Science that Could Save Your Life, author Ben Sherwood cites studies that prove doctors, nurses and emergency response people tend to survive catastrophes, not because they are medically trained, but because they don’t allow emotional despair to get the best of them. They have a purpose and people with purpose have more will to survive.

No talking to men in the first 10 days. I’m still not sure what that one was all about! I’m certain it had something to do with instilling yet MORE discipline – squelching those animal instincts and all. So, I broke that rule the first week.

I tried to avoid the tall, handsome guy who kept chasing me around the aisle at the small BX (general store), but he was pretty determined! I kept dodging him until he slipped me a note that said, “Aren’t you Sandy’s friend from Rochester NY? I’m her old boyfriend!”

Sheesh! I didn’t recognize him with no hair! He turned out to be one of only two people I knew from home and it was hard to say good bye when he and Charlie shipped out a week before I did. Lesson learned: friends from home are worth their weight in gold!

I’m sure my daughter will get through basic training with her own set of “lessons learned”. I’m just hoping the lessons that squelch those “instincts” stick the best!

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How to Be a Good Neighbor and Show Someone You Care

I was driving through my Mom and Dad’s neighborhood this afternoon and saw this snowman standing in a neighbor’s yard. I asked two ladies on the sidewalk if they thought the homeowner would mind if I snapped a picture for my blog. They said “It’s fine – go ahead” and then added, “It doesn’t belong to anyone in particular; we pass it around the neighborhood all year!”

How neat is that? They ALL take turns hosting the snowman! What a great way to show how much they care about their neighbors. So, in honor of Valentine’s Day and my eldest son’s wedding, here are other ways people show they care. Maybe you’d like to add your own favorites in the comments below!

People show their care, concern and love by…

  1. bringing the neighbor’s dog back when it gets loose and you see it roaming
  2. leaving the last bite of dessert on the plate for the other person
  3. crawling out of a warm bed into a cold room to be the one who shuts the window
  4. getting refills of popcorn and drinks during the middle of the movie
  5. being the one to give the foot-rubs more often than getting the foot-rubs
  6. picking up trash from the neighbor’s garbage can when it tips over and they’re out of town
  7. refilling the gas tank when it’s almost empty
  8. holding dinner ’til their favorite TV program is over
  9. starting the coffee so they wake up with the aroma
  10. sending business or job referrals to neighbors who need them
  11. counting to 10 when they forget the most important item on the shopping list
  12. cleaning out the cat-box when they’re sick
  13. warming their car and scraping ice and snow off the windows
  14. writing an unsolicited recommendation for their LinkedIn profile
  15. rubbing their forehead when they have a headache
  16. not eating onions or garlic unless they do
  17. paying their bill when they don’t expect it
  18. putting notes in their pockets to find when they travel
  19. watering plants or mowing their lawn when they’re away
  20. keeping the overcooked steak for themselves and giving you the better one
  21. telling them when there’s something stuck in their teeth
  22. plowing their driveway or shoveling their sidewalk after the storm
  23. helping a stranger who’s run out of gas and then not accepting money (I was that stranger on Wednesday night; I want to publicly thank the couple who helped me. They work for Handyman Connection in Colorado Springs near Bijou and Spruce St.)

Yes, I’ve been graced with many of these gifts by people who showed they care. And I’m sure you have too. Feel free to give kudos in the comments below and Happy Valentines Day!

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