From the monthly archives:

March 2010

25 Top Insights from Client Coaching Sessions

03/18/2010

Shoes on fenceposts near Valley View Hot Springs CO

I’ve kept track of top tips and key insights resulting from client coaching sessions. I thought you might find them helpful, so here goes:

  1. Just because companies are cutting back, laying off, downsizing and “re-orging” doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make a move. Change creates opportunities.
  2. Just because you like someone, doesn’t mean they are good for you. Those who push you to stretch beyond your limits may serve you better than those who just nod and agree.
  3. What ratio of “noise” are you comfortable with in your life? Noise is auditory clutter. You do have the ability to block some of it out – filter phone calls, limit meetings and build in a quiet buffer zone.
  4. Hone interpersonal communication by engaging in face-to-face conversations. While social media is a powerful, productive force for building relationships, it is no substitute for personal interaction and skill-building experience.
  5. Spend as much time as possible to identify the top 10 percent of what you DO best and what you LIKE best. Sometimes the two will converge.
  6. Three key areas determine career success and job satisfaction: 1) the tasks you prefer to do, 2) the people you work best with, 3) a comfortable, productive environment that nurtures your soul and stimulates your mind
  7. Culture change within an organization – leadership, mission, philosophy – will do more to either motivate or harm employees than anything else
  8. You get best results when you align your personality style with the “personality” of the organization AND your goals with their goals
  9. Want to find a way to keep “stuff” from getting you down? Think like a consultant. Do your job and do what you can in the best interest of your “client”. But avoid getting emotionally caught up in whether or not they follow your advice.
  10. Just because you feel someone may need your advice, doesn’t necessarily mean they will welcome your advice.
  11. As you market yourself (for a job, in your business or on a date), remember that people are drawn to those they feel most comfortable with and relaxed around. Avoid making it hard for them!
  12. Do you feel you have a direction in life? Is there a purpose, a mission or cause about which you feel strongly? If not, perhaps it’s time to find one – to put some spring in your step, keep you centered, grounded and motivated.
  13. I know you sometimes struggle with the yardstick – evaluating, measuring how far to one side or another you should go. It’s fine to adjust the rudder, but be sure to find “range” parameters. These are the boundaries that define who you are, what you want, what you can do for others and just how far you feel you can go.
  14. Are you doing something that’s meaningful? Is it meaningful for YOU?
  15. Are you getting more from Facebook than the people in your office, your church, association or at home?
  16. When was the last time you set a “horror floor”? This is how low you will go. It’s the “floor” of the prices you set, the work you will do, the people you allow into your life.
  17. When was the last time you did something for the very first time? (Thanks for that, Paul!)
  18. The more you stay down in the “weeds” the narrower your view.
  19. The more you operate from a position of fear, the more you’ll find yourself closing up, contracting, constricting and limiting yourself.
  20. Just because someone you respect is skeptical of your ideas, doesn’t mean you have to give them up. Listen – yes. But don’t shortchange yourself or diminish your ideas.
  21. Are you angry? Is it because you’re not getting something you feel you deserve from someone? Maybe they’re not capable of giving it – maybe not now – maybe not ever. Put your energy to better use.
  22. You don’t always have to be about selling your business, you know. Get better at communicating and showing who you are as a person. The rest will follow. People flock to sincerity and character like bees to honey!
  23. Form an opinion. Those who say, “I have no opinion” are either not thinking, don’t care, they’re threatened or frightened.
  24. If you’re the kind of person who’s learned your enthusiasm can get the best of you, wait 24 hours before you make that phone call, send that email or plunk down money.
  25. And finally (for now anyway), the one you’ve invested so much time, prayer, money and energy into may not recognize the pain they have caused you. People do what’s important to THEM. So now, based on that, make your decision.

Anything ring a bell with you? Please let me know. Till next time,

Laura

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29 Positive Encouraging Words in Times of Change

03/16/2010

(An earlier, popular article republished for your enjoyment!)

One of my favorite quotes is, “Be who you are and say what you think because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” (Dr. Seuss)

But we don’t always know the best ways to communicate how we feel, do we? We DO know that folks we wish to influence WILL mind and it WILL matter what we say.

As an example, Tracey Ryan, Manager of Office Services for ESRI, the GIS Software Leader, is a subscriber who wrote me to ask, “…what words should I use to introduce a new change for my department?” Her department is consolidating with another and she wanted phrases, keywords or language to promote the benefits of this change to her team as they make the announcement.

She’s not trying to “snow” them, manipulate anyone or put a happy face on a challenging transition. She wants language to promote the positives because she knows that ANY change can be challenging for some folks.

If you’ve attended my behavioral styles or DiSC(R) social styles class, you know some of us are just hard-wired for non-stop excitement. The more change, the better! But others prefer a more predictable environment. Change is unsettling and unnerving for some. They need encouragement to know they’re in good hands and that everything will be okay. And who better to offer those words of encouragement than those in a frontline leadership position?

So here are the words and phrases I sent her, in addition to others that came to mind as I wrote this post. (Care to add any of your own?)

Benefits include:

1. We will have a bigger pool of creative ideas, strengths and talents from which to draw on

2. It will broaden opportunities to learn new techniques and applications

3. We will be exposed to new challenges, which will test our creativity and problem-solving abilities

4. There will be new ways we can influence the organization as a whole

5. We’ll get new opportunities to learn from one another

6. We’ll all benefit from forging new relationships, since we all know that “affiliation” builds trust

7. We’ll have more of a hand in streamlining processes and developing new procedures to get better results

8. You’ll become much more marketable in your career because of this experience

9. You’ll become much more valuable to the organization as a result of this experience

10. The organization will become more aware of what we’re capable of

11. You’ll become more aware of what you’re capable of

12. It’s clear to me we’ll be consolidating the best of “both worlds”

13. No one knows better than you, what kind of difference we can make

14. There will be numerous new ways we can make a bigger difference to one another

15. You’ll get greater opportunities to expand your knowledge base

16. You’ll have more career growth paths from which to follow in the future

17. No one will ever be able to say we’re a “one trick pony”

18. We’ll be better positioned to attract top talent from outside/within the organization/industry

19. This change will reinvigorate our organization

20. It will rekindle the spirit that made us so effective in the first place

21. We’ll experience a balanced approach to leverage our talents/strengths/processes/procedures

22. It will allow us to become more innovative

23. This new direction will rejuvenate our energy and creativity

24. It will give us the opportunity to reinvent the impact we have on others (customers, partners, sponsors, donors, competitors)

25. We have the right to be able to show our stuff in much more visible, influential way than ever before!

26. Imagine the impact you’re going to have!

27. We’ll do our best to make this as much of a hassle-free experience as possible

28. As a team, we’ll become more effective/knowledgeable/influential/good-looking as a result of this process (did ya catch that?)

29. I/your leadership team will be much, much easier to live with! (Live a little. Throw in a few humorous lines to surprise ‘em and make ‘em laugh!)

CLOSING NOTE: In a former life as a Sales Team Manager and Employee Benefits person, it was my responsibility to promote the benefits of programs, services and products. As any good relationship sales person knows, it’s also wise to anticipate objections. So, before you roll out all those positive words, do an informal poll to find out what fears, frustrations or concerns people might have about this change. That will give you the opportunity in advance to address the issues in a constructive way.

And if you’re looking for a tool of influence, allow me to offer my CARLA Concept(TM) Communication Model as an approach to overcome objections:

C – state the challenge, change or circumstances you face

A – outline the actions you can take in the future or that you’ve taken in the past

R – project the results you hope to achieve or that you’ve achieved in the past

L – discuss the “lessons learned” along the way

A – brainstorm alternatives/options/possibilities for the future, now that you know what you know

Oh, and how did it turn out for Tracey? Here’s what she said:

“Laura, this was incredibly helpful, and SO timely. Our new director scheduled a “meet and greet” briefing this morning, so your response was just in time. I don’t mind if you mention my name and company, by the way. It is a fascinating place to work—Jack Dangermond is such a visionary individual and he and his wife Laura started the company right out of college with only $1500 research money. Thank you again, Tracey”

Tracey, you’re most welcome!

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17 Secrets to Beat Being Boring

03/15/2010

Ever worry about being boring?

I’ve been paying attention to what makes people pick up the phone, schedule coffee, post comments, friend you on Facebook and follow you on Twitter. And I must say, it’s NOT when you’re being “oh so professional”. People make comments on the personal posts, not so much the professional. They’re interested when you let your personality show through. They want to hire you, date you and hang out when you’ve got a life and you’re not afraid to show it.

Want to know how to beat being boring? Lean on in and I’ll share a few of my best-kept secrets:

  1. Sprinkle provocative words in your conversations and writing like “secrets, sins or sexy”
  2. Make a self-deprecating comment or two (“I hate when I trip and fall in front of my kids friends!”)
  3. Banish ambiguous high-dollar words from your vocabulary like, “organizational development” or “solutions consultant”
  4. Be a real person on your LinkedIn profile or Facebook page: mother of 5 under 5, avid collector of baseball caps, etc.
  5. Post that picture in your cubicle of the fingerling you caught on your last fishing trip
  6. Stop repeating the Starfish Story or saying, “You know what they say about the definition of insanity…”
  7. Read something other than business books
  8. Have your teenager load a few new songs of their choice on your ipod (Live a little!)
  9. Take your 70-something parents to a clothing optional hot springs, by mistake (a story for another day!)
  10. Profile behaviors and practices of people in your industry and do something different
  11. If everyone is wearing black, wear something yellow
  12. Put humorous bumper stickers on your car rather than socially assertive, angry ones
  13. Serve cookies to your employees, cook them a steak or take them all out to a 3-D movie (much more fun than teambuilding!)
  14. Let your grandkids paint the bathtub walls with chocolate pudding – or better yet, your spouse!
  15. Meet for coffee somewhere other than Starbucks for goodness sakes (how about a museum, visitors center, community garden?)
  16. Put a picture on your business card, website, brochure so people know who they’re dealing with
  17. Most of us have pets; tell us about yours!

Sometimes standing out draws people in. They’re bored by the “same old”, frustrated with politics and fearful of failing. Offer something fun, something interesting, something different. But most of all – offer something sincere!

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Why Teams Fail Part Three

03/12/2010

Welcome back! In Part One and Part Two of this series, I focused on why teams fail.

Now, let’s discuss what you can do to prevent them from falling apart in the first place! Let’s face it – teams, boards, councils, clubs and commissions are made up of people. While that may seem to be a no-brainer, many of us assume groups are “cookie cutter” in composition and purpose.

Oh contraire! People join teams with an agenda – whether it’s constructive or destructive reveals itself over time – but we all have a personal reason for being there.

So the first step is to get into the hearts and minds of folks to probe for answers to these questions:

  • Why are you here?
  • What’s important about this task or organization?
  • Why are you compelled to give up your free time to be here?

The second step is to bump that up against the stated mission, vision, goals or charter of the group. Make sure there is alignment. (Just like a teacher who asks students at the start of the semester, “Are you SURE you’re supposed to be in THIS class?”) Define why you’re all there.

The third step is to clarify what you all expect to achieve at the end of the day, the project, the term, etc. Make sure you quantify it so people have a good understanding of what those goals “look like”. Make them tangible and real. Have them answer this question: “We will know we are successful when we…”

The fourth step is to identify words and behaviors that could lead to destructive outcomes. We spend a lot of time defining mission, vision and values, but we make huge (HUGE!) assumptions about behaviors we will accept and those we shouldn’t. So, specifically list (with the aid of a skilled facilitator like me! Ha!) the red flags that should alert us we’re off track. They can be words that imply we are not all united or speaking with one voice. You shouldn’t hear statements like, “Well, THEY want us to do it THIS way.” The implication being, I do not agree, but THEY are forcing me to go along. You either speak with one voice, or you don’t speak at all! (I’ll do another article on that subject shortly.)

The fifth step is to pause occasionally and ensure everyone is still heading in the proper direction, given the goals, charter, mission, etc. It’s easy to get off course as we add new information, data, case studies and benchmarks to the pot. Before you know it, you wake up one day and realize you’ve moved too far from the reason you came together in the first place.

Teams, boards, councils and commissions are living organisms.

NOT so much like this:

But more like this:

They move and grow within boundaries set by the shoreline. They have a great deal of freedom within those limits.

And when the “season” is over, they fold up and sink back down into the mud.

(Just wanting to see if you’re paying attention!)

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Reasons Why Teams Fail Part Two

03/11/2010

In Why Teams Fail Part One, we discussed the first five reasons.

Now we’ll proceed to the next five! Teams struggle because they fail to…

6. Stop disrespectful behaviors as soon as they appear. Do not allow someone on the team to disrespect others OR to disrespect those who are not present! It weakens everyone’s credibility, causes hard feelings, and impacts performance and productivity. If you don’t call them on their behavior early on, you also allow a pattern to develop which may undermine effectiveness and get in the way of achieving your goals.

And you can do this in a gentle, humorous, yet pointed way. I once heard someone use this line, “Gosh Bill, she only has the nicest things to say about you!”

7. Form friendships. When Gallup Organization identified the 12 needs of top performers in their book, “First, Break All the Rules”, they found having a “best friend at work” was a factor that fueled high performing teams. While it doesn’t mean each team must be made up of one’s “best friends” in a literal sense, it does mean that teams made up of friends can spin circles around others. Think of it – most people hesitate to let a friend down. It can backfire if the friendships are dysfunctional, but the concept is what makes social media sites so successful. People work better with people they like. It’s simple human dynamics.

8. “Fire” the folks who refuse to “play”. We all know the people who sit back, arms crossed, and let everyone else do the work. They are there in body only, they don’t contribute, and they make it clear through their non-verbals that they can’t wait to get out of there and back to their “real” work. While this is not easy to do, it’s imperative that everyone support the goal. If the goal is clearly defined, then it’s up to each individual to decide whether or not they can support it. If not – then they should self select and get out of the way so the team can move forward. Now, this doesn’t mean we should interpret vigorous debate on issues where there is not consensus – I’m talking here about people who sit on boards or serve on teams just to get their names on a report or in the newspaper.

9. Give each other permission to start over. It’s okay to admit that something didn’t work as expected, but it’s not okay to hold it against the person who came up with the idea in the first place. Make it clear that mistakes are expected and are just another way to eliminate what won’t work in order to get to the successes. Cut each other some slack. Avoid being so judgmental that you risk embarrassment later on down the line when people discover that you too are human!

10. Appreciate how powerful they are! Highly functioning teams and boards are a powerful force when they learn how to leverage the knowledge, skills, relationships, and energy possessed by people with a single purpose. The momentum they bring to any problem, decision, or direction can be unstoppable and highly influential. The force of a tornado takes time to grow, but once it’s spinning, it is a formidable thing indeed!

In Part Three of this series, I’ll offer even more tips on how to strengthen a team, board, council or club, so please don’t miss it!

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