I had a friend over one day. We had coffee. Her’s got cold and she asked if she could warm in the microwave.
I replied, “Of course”.
A few minutes later she rejoined me in the living room and said, “Your microwave doesn’t work right.”
I was confused. “But I just heard it running and your cup is steaming. What do you mean, it doesn’t work?”
She said, “Well, I put it in with the handle facing out and punched in the same number of seconds I normally do at home. But when I opened up the door to your microwave the handle was in the back. It’s supposed to end up facing out – towards me – so I can grab it.”
“So, that means there must be something wrong with my microwave.”
“Yup, you need to get it fixed.”
A short time later I shared this story with another friend. We got talking about how we eventually figured out our personality styles without having to take an assessment; we paid attention to the small things we did or thought about every day. Those were the clues.
“For example” she said, “I think about time very differently than other people.”
I asked her, “How so?” and she drew this picture…
“This is how I think about time. In my mind, January through May and September through December don’t take up as much space.”
(This was about the time I started searching for telltale signs of an alien abduction)
“But May through August takes up a LOT of space ’cause those months I want to last longer” she said.
I then asked, “But why would you do this? Time is time. Every day has 24 hours. We can’t fool ourselves into making it last longer.”
“I can,” she said. “Besides, I have to have a way to think about it that makes sense. I mean, how do YOU think about time? Don’t you have to have someplace to ‘put it’ in your mind so you can look to see where that month belongs?”
(By then I really knew she’d been swapped out with someone who just looked like her!)
“Nope. I don’t need to see a picture in my mind when I think about time. I just use it up!” I said.
“Well, I have to have a place to put things. It makes me feel organized” she said.
And then the light bulb came on! She is a process person. Her whole life is pretty darned organized. She has cubbyholes at her desk with neat little cubicles for pads of paper, pens, paper clips and even the stapler, for goodness sakes!
I have a drawer. One day I may take the time to organize it. That will probably save me a lot of time in the long run.
She has a recipe book she’s created over the years by pulling recipes out of magazines. It’s organized according to type of food: vegetable dishes, desserts, casseroles, etc. Her file folder labels are typed. (Mine are hand-written)
But those things are not that important to me. I spend my time in other ways. (Like trying to influence people with my sparkling wit! Ha!)
So now I’m on this “kick”. I ask folks how they know their personality style from the day-to-day stuff they do. And here’s what they tell me…
- I space the hangers in my closet so they’re exactly half an inch apart
- I organize the food on my plate in the order I’m going to eat it – clockwise
- I never balance my checkbook; I just check online to see if there’s still money left in the account
- I have to leave two or three voice mail messages when I call someone ’cause those darned recorders never give you enough time to say what you need to say
- I have to have the garbage can cleaned out – I hate the thought of it being all smelly when the garbage collectors come
- I carved out foam containers to fit my tools exactly – and I’ve labeled each one
- People just don’t know how to load a dishwasher properly! I’m always having to go and re-arrange things after my ______ (fill in the blank: spouse, kids, mother in law) loads it
- Co-workers say I’m like a bull in a china shop; things just get bumped and knocked over when I’m around
- I eat at the sink; it takes too much time to sit down
See anything you can relate to on that list?
So, here’s the slam-bang finish and the primary way to learn more about your personality style:
It’s all about motivation. Ask yourself WHY you do the things you do.
Do you get back in your car and move it when you realize you parked it all screwy? I might not bother because parking ‘outside the lines’ isn’t a big deal for me, UNLESS it’s a crowded parking lot. Then I might be worried I’d keep someone else from being able to squeeze in. If there are a lot of people nearby, I might move the car because I don’t want to look like a dork! But I never, EVER, move my car because parking inside the lines is the RIGHT WAY to park it!
How about you? Care to share a few items on your list? How do you know what personality style you have?
And while we’re waiting, please excuse me while I go microwave my coffee!
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