I recently spoke at a student safety conference on “Crisis Communication: How to Get the Message Out to Students.” Here is one of the key points I made in my presentation.
In this example, you can prove your point using few words by comparing two images with contrasting perspectives. You then ask your audience (or person you wish to influence) one simple question. It goes like this:
Here is the crime rate for a one week period in a large city. Each bubble represents a type of crime:
Here is the crime rate for the same period in a smaller community:
Question: Now, where would you like your 18 year old daughter to attend college?
See how that goes? You don’t have to argue or get wordy. The old adage, “A picture is worth a thousand words” is certainly true!
Application:
- Hopefully, to help your daughter attend college in a low crime town!
- To encourage a friend to make a healthier choice
- To stimulate critical thinking skills in students
- To help your team come to consensus without being heavy handed
- To break through a stalemate with your spouse
YOUR THOUGHTS:
I know it’s sometimes tough to get people to see our point of view, so how do you make a persuasive point? Do you just hit ‘em with the facts or try to persuade with emotion? Or does bribery work, now and then? (grin)
Ever dream about saying “I quit”?
Some of us fantasize about this, don’t we? Monday morning comes and we lay there looking up at the ceiling thinking, “What if I went in there today and told them to take this job and do you-know-what? I wonder what words I’d use?”
(This is where ALL the lawyers tell me to insert The BIG Disclaimer: “By virtue of writing this post, please be aware I’m not advocating, advising, suggesting or implying in even the most subtle or innocuous of ways you should quit your job!”)
But just in case you want to take a mental road trip to celebrate the new work week, here are 30 key phrases people could use to say “I quit”!
- “It’s really important I spend more time with my family.” (Fired C-suite execs and out-of-favor politicians use this one)
- “I’d like to pursue other opportunities.” (like fishing and golf)
- “At this stage of my life, it’s time to smell the roses.” (or pansies, daffodils – maybe even the goldenrod too)
- “You know that TV show, the Biggest Loser? Well, that’s how I feel around here, so it’s time to go!”
- “I know you’re cutting costs, so allow me to take one for the team.”
- “You know that next layoff you’re planning? Pulllease, take me, take meeeee!”
- “9 out of 10 managers agree, I’m destined for bigger and better things.”
- “No, really, it’s not YOU – it’s just me.”
- “I did win the lottery – I did!”
- “The Dali Lama says I’m needed on the mountaintop.”
- “It’s haying season back on the farm.”
- “You pay me far, far too much money for the work I do here. After I leave, you can spread the wealth around.”
- “We’re trying to have a child, so I’m needed at home more often.”
- “You know the other day when you asked me about my career goals…?”
- “How would you like to save some budget money this year?”
- “Where would you like me to put my computer?”
- “How long does it take to do an exit interview?”
- “I’m gifting you my chair.”
- “I’m trading in my cubicle for an ocean view.”
- “I have this cat and she needs a companion.”
- “Paul Harvey made a fortune by closing his show with, ‘…and that’s the rest of the story’. I’m thinking it’s high time for my story to start!”
- “I have this overwhelming urge for a Facebook page.”
- “My mom always said, ‘If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all,’ so let me be brief.”
- “According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, 15 million people are unemployed right now. Do you think one of them might qualify for my job?”
- “You’re out of coffee.”
- “You know that new guy down the hall? The guy with the pocket protector? He said he’s smarter than me, so now he gets a chance to prove it.”
- “You cut the candy from the training budget.”
- “The latest Rasmussen Report says 72% of Americans prefer ‘Merry Christmas’ to ‘Happy Holidays’, so an early ‘Merry Christmas’ to all, and to all a good night!”
- “Those stock options are taking waaay too long to mature.”
- “The voices in my head say it’s not safe for me to stay here anymore.”
I’m sure you can come up with a few good phrases of your own! Please feel free to share them with us in the comments below!
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Drama Queens: As one workshop participant recently said, “They’ll suck the life right out of ya!” Everyone in the room agreed and they all knew someone who fit the bill. They also needed tips on how to cope, so here’s a process to help:
First, decide how much energy you will allow this person to steal from you. You could allocate 80% of your day fixating on just one person, right? That won’t leave you much time for other folks who deserve your focus.
Next, identify how their pattern plays out. Is there a predictable cycle or routine you see happening over and over again? Get it down on paper so it’s clear in your mind. That way the next time it happens, you’ll be able to spot it right off.
Then identify how you want this person to do it differently in the future. Asking them to “stop doing X” will probably not work. They may need coaching to help substitute more constructive behaviors in place of destructive ones.
For example, if your favorite “drama queen” barges into your office and interrupts meetings on a regular basis:
- Discuss the pattern with him or her immediately after the next incident. Be clear about the fact that their behavior/actions are unprofessional, disrespectful and unproductive.
- Coach with the CARLA Concept™. Put pen to paper and together discuss the circumstance or challenge faced, the actions taken, results achieved, lessons learned, and alternatives for the future.
- Include your observations as well as encourage them to self-identify. They may not realize all the damage they cause, such as “Results: people hide when they see you coming because they don’t have the time to deal with the many crisis you bring. This reduces your influence and erodes your credibility.”
- Each time they relapse into the habit, sit them down and repeat the process. A once-over is not enough to make an impression. Some people need to go through it multiple times in order to “get it”.
- If you are in a leadership position, make sure you add something to their performance goals & objectives about improving the level of professionalism. This will make it real and relevant to them. People do what they are held accountable for. They won’t think you’re really serious unless you make it measurable.
Overall, the trick is to clearly identify the behaviors that are destructive, get them down on paper, list the replacement behaviors you’d like to see, then engage the person in a “gap analysis” process using The CARLA Concept™.
Too often, we want to be polite and prefer not to rock the boat. That’s understandable given the uproar that occurs when you confront someone about their destructive behaviors. Some people feel it’s just not worth the hassle and give up. However, it’s better to address it as soon as possible. Otherwise, it will chip away at your patience, your energy level, and most importantly, steal your ability to be of service to others who ARE worth your time and attention.
Yes, there may be a little discomfort at first, but if you follow these tips, you might be able to convince the Drama Queen to relinquish the stage!
