Ever dream about saying “I quit”?
Some of us fantasize about this, don’t we? Monday morning comes and we lay there looking up at the ceiling thinking, “What if I went in there today and told them to take this job and do you-know-what? I wonder what words I’d use?”
(This is where ALL the lawyers tell me to insert The BIG Disclaimer: “By virtue of writing this post, please be aware I’m not advocating, advising, suggesting or implying in even the most subtle or innocuous of ways you should quit your job!”)
But just in case you want to take a mental road trip to celebrate the new work week, here are 30 key phrases people could use to say “I quit”!
- “It’s really important I spend more time with my family.” (Fired C-suite execs and out-of-favor politicians use this one)
- “I’d like to pursue other opportunities.” (like fishing and golf)
- “At this stage of my life, it’s time to smell the roses.” (or pansies, daffodils – maybe even the goldenrod too)
- “You know that TV show, the Biggest Loser? Well, that’s how I feel around here, so it’s time to go!”
- “I know you’re cutting costs, so allow me to take one for the team.”
- “You know that next layoff you’re planning? Pulllease, take me, take meeeee!”
- “9 out of 10 managers agree, I’m destined for bigger and better things.”
- “No, really, it’s not YOU – it’s just me.”
- “I did win the lottery – I did!”
- “The Dali Lama says I’m needed on the mountaintop.”
- “It’s haying season back on the farm.”
- “You pay me far, far too much money for the work I do here. After I leave, you can spread the wealth around.”
- “We’re trying to have a child, so I’m needed at home more often.”
- “You know the other day when you asked me about my career goals…?”
- “How would you like to save some budget money this year?”
- “Where would you like me to put my computer?”
- “How long does it take to do an exit interview?”
- “I’m gifting you my chair.”
- “I’m trading in my cubicle for an ocean view.”
- “I have this cat and she needs a companion.”
- “Paul Harvey made a fortune by closing his show with, ‘…and that’s the rest of the story’. I’m thinking it’s high time for my story to start!”
- “I have this overwhelming urge for a Facebook page.”
- “My mom always said, ‘If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all,’ so let me be brief.”
- “According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, 15 million people are unemployed right now. Do you think one of them might qualify for my job?”
- “You’re out of coffee.”
- “You know that new guy down the hall? The guy with the pocket protector? He said he’s smarter than me, so now he gets a chance to prove it.”
- “You cut the candy from the training budget.”
- “The latest Rasmussen Report says 72% of Americans prefer ‘Merry Christmas’ to ‘Happy Holidays’, so an early ‘Merry Christmas’ to all, and to all a good night!”
- “Those stock options are taking waaay too long to mature.”
- “The voices in my head say it’s not safe for me to stay here anymore.”
I’m sure you can come up with a few good phrases of your own! Please feel free to share them with us in the comments below!
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
How about these current ones, Laura…..
“Before we get started here, I’m already gone.”
“I can already tell I don’t want this job. So don’t hire me.”
Laura, I often wanted to quit being the senior advisor, volunteer, organizer, information source….tough to quit anything, but volunteer jobs have their own pitfalls when they aren’t fun anymore….
Eric, those are great additions to add to the list! It sure would solve a lot of heartaches if we knew in advance that the job we were about to accept was a poor fit, wouldn’t it?
Vivian, you had your hands full in the role(s) you’ve held, for sure! What does one do when you serve in a volunteer position and it’s difficult if not impossible to “quit”? That can be a very unique situation: held fast by commitment to the mission and the people with a kind of “compensation” that takes a heavy toll. Thanks for your comment!
Laura, great article–very entertaining approach to a serious quality of life issue!
Thanks Jeanette, I figure we all need a little levity in our lives these days!