Posts tagged as:

positive attitude

25 Top Insights from Client Coaching Sessions

03/18/2010

Shoes on fenceposts near Valley View Hot Springs CO

I’ve kept track of top tips and key insights resulting from client coaching sessions. I thought you might find them helpful, so here goes:

Just because companies are cutting back, laying off, downsizing and “re-orging” doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make a move. Change creates opportunities.
Just because you like someone, doesn’t mean they are good for you. Those who push you to stretch beyond your limits may serve you better than those who just nod and agree.
What ratio of “noise” are you comfortable with in your life? Noise is auditory clutter. You do have the ability to block some of it out – filter phone calls, limit meetings and build in a quiet buffer zone.
Hone interpersonal communication by engaging in face-to-face conversations. While social media is a powerful, productive force for building relationships, it is no substitute for personal interaction and skill-building experience.
Spend as much time as possible to identify the top 10 percent of what you DO best and what you LIKE best. Sometimes the two will converge.
Three key areas determine career success and job satisfaction: 1) the tasks you prefer to do, 2) the people you work best with, 3) a comfortable, productive environment that nurtures your soul and stimulates your mind
Culture change within an organization – leadership, mission, philosophy – will do more to either motivate or harm employees than anything else
You get best results when you align your personality style with the “personality” of the organization AND your goals with their goals
Want to find a way to keep “stuff” from getting you down? Think like a consultant. Do your job and do what you can in the best interest of your “client”. But avoid getting emotionally caught up in whether or not they follow your advice.
Just because you feel someone may need your advice, doesn’t necessarily mean they will welcome your advice.
As you market yourself (for a job, in your business or on a date), remember that people are drawn to those they feel most comfortable with and relaxed around. Avoid making it hard for them!
Do you feel you have a direction in life? Is there a purpose, a mission or cause about which you feel strongly? If not, perhaps it’s time to find one – to put some spring in your step, keep you centered, grounded and motivated.
I know you sometimes struggle with the yardstick – evaluating, measuring how far to one side or another you should go. It’s fine to adjust the rudder, but be sure to find “range” parameters. These are the boundaries that define who you are, what you want, what you can do for others and just how far you feel you can go.
Are you doing something that’s meaningful? Is it meaningful for YOU?
Are you getting more from Facebook than the people in your office, your church, association or at home?
When was the last time you set a “horror floor”? This is how low you will go. It’s the “floor” of the prices you set, the work you will do, the people you allow into your life.
When was the last time you did something for the very first time? (Thanks for that, Paul!)
The more you stay down in the “weeds” the narrower your view.
The more you operate from a position of fear, the more you’ll find yourself closing up, contracting, constricting and limiting yourself.
Just because someone you respect is skeptical of your ideas, doesn’t mean you have to give them up. Listen – yes. But don’t shortchange yourself or diminish your ideas.
Are you angry? Is it because you’re not getting something you feel you deserve from someone? Maybe they’re not capable of giving it – maybe not now – maybe not ever. Put your energy to better use.
You don’t always have to be about selling your business, you know. Get better at communicating and showing who you are as a person. The rest will follow. People flock to sincerity and character like bees to honey!
Form an opinion. Those who say, “I have no opinion” are either not thinking, don’t care, they’re threatened or frightened.
If you’re the kind of person who’s learned your enthusiasm can get the best of you, wait 24 hours before you make that phone call, send that email or plunk down money.
And finally (for now anyway), the one you’ve invested so much time, prayer, money and energy into may not recognize the pain they have caused you. People do what’s important to THEM. So now, based on that, make your decision.

Anything ring a bell with you? Please let me know. Till next time,

Laura

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29 Positive Encouraging Words in Times of Change

03/16/2010

(An earlier, popular article republished for your enjoyment!)

One of my favorite quotes is, “Be who you are and say what you think because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” (Dr. Seuss)

But we don’t always know the best ways to communicate how we feel, do we? We DO know that folks we wish to influence WILL mind and it WILL matter what we say.

As an example, Tracey Ryan, Manager of Office Services for ESRI, the GIS Software Leader, is a subscriber who wrote me to ask, “…what words should I use to introduce a new change for my department?” Her department is consolidating with another and she wanted phrases, keywords or language to promote the benefits of this change to her team as they make the announcement.

She’s not trying to “snow” them, manipulate anyone or put a happy face on a challenging transition. She wants language to promote the positives because she knows that ANY change can be challenging for some folks.

If you’ve attended my behavioral styles or DiSC(R) social styles class, you know some of us are just hard-wired for non-stop excitement. The more change, the better! But others prefer a more predictable environment. Change is unsettling and unnerving for some. They need encouragement to know they’re in good hands and that everything will be okay. And who better to offer those words of encouragement than those in a frontline leadership position?

So here are the words and phrases I sent her, in addition to others that came to mind as I wrote this post. (Care to add any of your own?)

Benefits include:

1. We will have a bigger pool of creative ideas, strengths and talents from which to draw on

2. It will broaden opportunities to learn new techniques and applications

3. We will be exposed to new challenges, which will test our creativity and problem-solving abilities

4. There will be new ways we can influence the organization as a whole

5. We’ll get new opportunities to learn from one another

6. We’ll all benefit from forging new relationships, since we all know that “affiliation” builds trust

7. We’ll have more of a hand in streamlining processes and developing new procedures to get better results

8. You’ll become much more marketable in your career because of this experience

9. You’ll become much more valuable to the organization as a result of this experience

10. The organization will become more aware of what we’re capable of

11. You’ll become more aware of what you’re capable of

12. It’s clear to me we’ll be consolidating the best of “both worlds”

13. No one knows better than you, what kind of difference we can make

14. There will be numerous new ways we can make a bigger difference to one another

15. You’ll get greater opportunities to expand your knowledge base

16. You’ll have more career growth paths from which to follow in the future

17. No one will ever be able to say we’re a “one trick pony”

18. We’ll be better positioned to attract top talent from outside/within the organization/industry

19. This change will reinvigorate our organization

20. It will rekindle the spirit that made us so effective in the first place

21. We’ll experience a balanced approach to leverage our talents/strengths/processes/procedures

22. It will allow us to become more innovative

23. This new direction will rejuvenate our energy and creativity

24. It will give us the opportunity to reinvent the impact we have on others (customers, partners, sponsors, donors, competitors)

25. We have the right to be able to show our stuff in much more visible, influential way than ever before!

26. Imagine the impact you’re going to have!

27. We’ll do our best to make this as much of a hassle-free experience as possible

28. As a team, we’ll become more effective/knowledgeable/influential/good-looking as a result of this process (did ya catch that?)

29. I/your leadership team will be much, much easier to live with! (Live a little. Throw in a few humorous lines to surprise ‘em and make ‘em laugh!)

CLOSING NOTE: In a former life as a Sales Team Manager and Employee Benefits person, it was my responsibility to promote the benefits of programs, services and products. As any good relationship sales person knows, it’s also wise to anticipate objections. So, before you roll out all those positive words, do an informal poll to find out what fears, frustrations or concerns people might have about this change. That will give you the opportunity in advance to address the issues in a constructive way.

And if you’re looking for a tool of influence, allow me to offer my CARLA Concept(TM) Communication Model as an approach to overcome objections:

C – state the challenge, change or circumstances you face

A – outline the actions you can take in the future or that you’ve taken in the past

R – project the results you hope to achieve or that you’ve achieved in the past

L – discuss the “lessons learned” along the way

A – brainstorm alternatives/options/possibilities for the future, now that you know what you know

Oh, and how did it turn out for Tracey? Here’s what she said:

“Laura, this was incredibly helpful, and SO timely. Our new director scheduled a “meet and greet” briefing this morning, so your response was just in time. I don’t mind if you mention my name and company, by the way. It is a fascinating place to work—Jack Dangermond is such a visionary individual and he and his wife Laura started the company right out of college with only $1500 research money. Thank you again, Tracey”

Tracey, you’re most welcome!

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How to Deal with the Dark Days

03/03/2010

Are you struggling? Are you:

unemployed, under-employed or living with someone who is?
dealing with a very difficult child, teacher, parent, spouse or friend?
confused or fearful about your future?
frustrated beyond belief at what’s happening to our country?

I’m frustrated too. AND I’ve decided to take charge – on a number of levels. I may not be successful at ALL levels, but at least I won’t feel like a victim. At least I’ll build some mental toughness – to prepare for what comes next. I will clarify my purpose, eliminate distractions and “gird my loins” if you will! I will move forward vs remain frozen.

Kind of like these guys, as portrayed in the HBO special, “John Adams”. If you haven’t seen it, rent it this weekend. Gather your friends and family; everyone bring a dish ’cause it’s a multi-part series.

I can’t even imagine what the founders and those who fought to create our country must have gone through. They must have felt like giving up. There must have been questions about their sanity and their motives. It’s clear that lives were lost. But it was important ENOUGH, wasn’t it?

So, while I can’t speak for you, but here’s what helps me stay motivated and get through the dark days:

Remembering where I came from. I think about all the hard work my parents put into raising me and my five brothers and sisters – the sleepless nights, the day-to-day sacrifices, the worry, and of course the joys! (We were quite a joyful handful!) After all their hard work, the least I can do is “belly up to the bar” and try to make them proud. I want to prove their efforts were not wasted.

That others need my strength. I hope this doesn’t come across as arrogant, but I’ve been reminded over the years that others watch how I’ve handled adversity. We never know who is watching us and whether what they see gives them courage or saps their strength. Even though I might feel inside like I’m fighting a losing battle, the effort of putting one foot in front of the other may encourage the people around me. Positive momentum builds when people inspire one another!

That this too will pass. Have you ever looked back on your life and remembered some REALLY dark days? You may wonder now how in the world you ever got through it! Eventually, this day will become one of those days too. You’ve done it before and you will do it again. And you’ll learn something more – a new skill and a better outlook along the way.

That it could lead to something better. I will restrain myself from pulling out that old joke about “…there must be a pony in here somewhere!” Truly, haven’t you noticed when you’re driving at night that the headlights only shine so far? But the farther we drive, the more territory we are able to see. (I call this my “Headlight Theory on Life” and intend to trademark it! Ha!) While it’s hard to keep this in mind while we’re in the midst of IT, new opportunities present themselves that I might otherwise have missed out on. We get creative when the pressure’s on, don’t we?

Change my routine. It’s easy to fall into a rut, physically and mentally. My thinking gets cloudy when too many struggles occur all at once. (And have you noticed it’s not necessarily the BIG things that drag us down – it’s the piling up of the little things?) So, I have to shake up my routine and do something different. Today it will be taking a walk at the park instead of going to the gym. (Yeah, like I go to the gym every day!) When I change my pattern of behavior, the mental state seems to follow – and things look better, brighter. I’m not sure why, but it just does.

Build in a buffer. You know how stressed we get when we’re late for an appointment or down to the last few bucks in the checking account? Remember how you felt after being sick for a while or during a storm when the furnace went out? That’s when tempers flare and attitudes turn dark. So, after finding myself “up against it” a few times, I discovered a book on how to build margin back into life. Margin is the space that exists between ourselves and our limits; it’s what we hold in reserve for unanticipated situations. The book is Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physcial, Financial and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives by Richard A. Swenson and it changed my way of thinking. While I don’t always succeed, I work harder now to build margin into my life – emotional energy, physical energy, time and financial – as much as possible!

Make friends. It feels good to get together with like-minded people. It’s energizing and motivating. You don’t do yourself any good by holing up inside a cocoon for too long. Come out! Join up with people who can lift your spirits. A ten-year Australian study found that people with friends live longer. I know life gets busy. I know we all have our Facebook profiles and pages and are followed by lots of folks on Twitter, but that’s not the same as face-to-face interaction. Invite someone over, host a movie night or call someone up who seems to be isolated. You’ll feel better too!

And finally, there are people who like to live in the dark. At some level, they get their needs met by always being in crisis and by sharing their “woe is me” mindset with others. Guard against this slippery slope. Catch yourself so the majority of your words and actions are constructive vs destructive. We can so easily go there when times are tough, but it will lead to an ever-increasing downward spiral that’s hard to climb out of.

While there’s no need to be “Suzie Sunshine” all the time, make sure to take charge of the majority of your day. It’s YOUR day. Create the sandbox you want to play in.